Showing posts with label About Gay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label About Gay. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Kris - Gay America, MA
(Oct '08) I am a 38 year old gay man living my life out in Quincy, MA (one city south of Boston). I ended a 14 year relationship just two years ago that may be reuniting. I met my ex-partner just a few months after coming out and was quite comfortable with my life, in fact so comfortable that I gained quite a bit of weight. After some cheating issues we broke things off and I worked my ass off (literally) at the gym. I know that is typical for a gay man, but during the last two years I have had some family issues that have also changed my life dramatically. My sister moved to Mississippi and her two teenage sons were having some issues, and she needed help herself. They both are now living in my house and have been since about 6 months after my break-up. I have seen my life transformed. These two teenagers have been very supportive of my life and even helped me through what was a very tough time in my life. I now have one of them about to move out on his own, a big step for both him and I at this point. I have changed two young family members lives and at the same time regained my own.I have been recently spending time with my ex in between being a “single gay soccer dad” and struggling with my job as a real estate agent in very tough economic times. As you can imagine it was a struggle to date again after such a long term relationship, and even more so with most gay men viewing the raising of two teenage boys as “baggage”. I am proud to have that “baggage” around me every day, and proud of what they have become. They experience a very large portion of my life and spend time with my friends who often help out when I am not available for them.
I recently took on the Harbor to Bay bike ride for HIV causes, a 126 mile ride from Boston to Provincetown. At 6:00am, the morning of the ride, as I prepared to pull out of Copley Square in Boston I received a text from the younger of the two boys wishing me luck and providing words of encouragement. He knew and understood what the ride meant to me, raising money for a good cause and a personal challenge. This has simply become a regular life to me at this point.
I am blessed to live in Massachusetts where being out is not a problem, even living in a small neighborhood filled with retired people in their 70’s. They have all embraced me, and in fact one of my neighbors recognized my weight loss after the break-up and was concerned and was bringing me meals (typical Italian mother). I am proud of who I am, and have experienced a lot recently. I don’t hide who I am and haven’t since I came out shortly after turning 21. I am also proud to provide an example and environment for my nephews that allows them to develop into who they are and will become. My friend suggested I was a very good candidate to show another side OUT in these times, and I am proud to represent another segment of being out as a gay man.
(Nov 09 update) I went to the hospital thinking I had some sort of stomach virus or kidney stones, left 7 days later having 14 inches of my intestines removed and my life completely changed with a colon cancer diagnosis. I had got back together with my ex before this happened and could not have made it through the last three weeks without him. He has been there every step of the way, so at least there was some good coming from him being laid off from work one week prior to this happening. I had even taken on a puppy last May that I was raising for Guiding Eyes for the Blind and he would have went in for training in March, but left early because of my situation. Again, so much for Karma and the belief that good things come to people who help others. However, I have tremendous support from so many people that it is overwhelming at times which helps me redeem that Karma belief (not a religious bone in my body otherwise).
Living in the Boston area has it's definite advantages, along with a very diverse and accepting community, it has incredible medical resources. I have picked a great doctor who specializes in my exact type of cancer. He has a team of people, including a surgeon who specializes in liver surgery, which will be my next step along with chemo therapy. Stage 4 Colon Cancer means that it spread, but I am lucky that it had not gone too far. I only have two tiny spots on my liver that need to be removed, and I am hoping that can be done without another huge scar. I know that I will overcome this new obstacle in my life, as I have so many other things. The last few years of my life have taught me so much, but nothing changes your perspective like this has!
Monday, November 7, 2011
Stephen, Gay America - FL
I must have been around 10 or so; had always known I was attracted to men and never felt anything negative about it, other than other boys in my crowd didn't share my feelings...at least outwardly. One day as my Mother and I were doing the dishes after a family lunch, she began to have "the Talk" with me -- Mother, of course, ran our home while Father was sweet, lovely, but weak. At any rate, she did the man/woman thing as she washed and I wiped plates. Then she said that there were women who were attracted to other women and men who were attracted to other men. "They are called 'homosexuals'", she said. And I remember as clearly as this morning gazing out the window into our small back yard, "Well, if there's a name for it, then I can't be the only one." It was that simple, that clear, that undramatic.I came out to my family when I was about 16. They, of course, hauled me off to the psychiatrist. I went in first and had a lovely 15 minute conversation with him about me, my feelings, my fears, my sexuality, etc. Then he asked that I sit in the waiting room while he spoke privately with my parents. I went out; they went in. After about 30 minutes, they came out - he strolling, she storming - and home we went. Silence in the car, so after about 10 minutes I asked what The Good Doctor had said. Pause. "He said that he wanted to see us every week for at least 6 months, but that you didn't have to go back", my Father said.
The following day I called the office and asked to speak to the Doctor. He took my call. Asking him what had transpired and telling him that we arrived home and Mother had taken to her bed and not another word had been spoken about it, he said. "Well, Stephen, I told your parents that you were the most well-adjusted teenager and homosexual I've ever me, and that it was they who needed therapy to address and resolve their own conflicts about it."
And ever since, wherever, whenever, with whom ever, I've been myself. Solid. Confident. Frightened. Unsure. Definite. Strong. Kind. Lover. Fuck Buddy. Son. Brother. Friend. Never thinking it was necessary to be 'proud' since I am myself. It is all I've ever known and, with luck, all I will continue to be for a long, long time.
There are a million tales, examples, etc., but they all funnel back to the above. Early knowledge, early assurance, early truth, and a lifetime of being honest and true to the only one to whom I can or must: myself.
At 55, I feel younger, stronger and more confident -- prouder? -- than ever. Maybe I've managed to find a drop of wisdom somewhere along this road.
The Duo Daddy Dilemma
This article was originally published in the April edition of Diversity Rules Magazine, which you can find online here.
On the one hand you’ve got adoption. (Unless you’re in Arkansas, Florida, Missouri, Nebraska, or North Dakota in which case what the hell are you doing? Move.) Everywhere you look, there are orphaned children that are in need of a home and some may argue that gay couples are in a unique position to offer them a family since biologically they cannot reproduce on their own. That argument makes sense to a degree. But if we are to consider that all parents (gay and straight alike) are equally capable of raising a child – which on the whole I do, and that is not to say that just anyone should raise children – then as equals, they are each equally justified in wanting their own biological child and therefore equally positioned to adopt a child. The line of reasoning to which the world is over populated only argues that all parents should adopt and not that only gay ones should.
In 2011, the option for gay parenting is alive and well. And thank goodness, because even though my beautiful beau and I are far from having babies, I make no secret of wanting to be a daddy. Including all of the major decisions and responsibilities that involve parenting, gay men in particular, have another significant determination to weigh when it comes to having a child. Adopt or Surrogate - pitting theories of nature versus nurture in the Duo Daddy Dilemma.
On the one hand you’ve got adoption. (Unless you’re in Arkansas, Florida, Missouri, Nebraska, or North Dakota in which case what the hell are you doing? Move.) Everywhere you look, there are orphaned children that are in need of a home and some may argue that gay couples are in a unique position to offer them a family since biologically they cannot reproduce on their own. That argument makes sense to a degree. But if we are to consider that all parents (gay and straight alike) are equally capable of raising a child – which on the whole I do, and that is not to say that just anyone should raise children – then as equals, they are each equally justified in wanting their own biological child and therefore equally positioned to adopt a child. The line of reasoning to which the world is over populated only argues that all parents should adopt and not that only gay ones should. On the other hand, there’s the option of surrogacy. From personal experience, I can testify for simply wanting biological children. Perhaps this is a paternal yearn to see one’s seed continued on. My beau commented that his biological yearning (which sounds revolting) simmered once his brother had genetic children. Or perhaps, there is something more socially selfish about wanting to raise your genetic child. Is it narcissistic to want offspring that have your eyes, your hair, or your sense of extro- or introvert -which, yes, is genetic.
If you should come to the conclusion that adopting is for you, then one must consider options of ethnicity, sex, and the age of your child. On the question of gender, are two men more fit to raise a boy and are two women more fit to raise a girl? This question shakes the very foundation of gender stereotypes. On the question of race, I’m personally against “blending in”, whether in sexual orientation or race, but I cannot deny that some people consider it an important factor when adopting children. On the question of age, adopting a baby versus a ten-year-old involves challenges that require a different and specific set of goals, perspectives, and investments.
If you should come to the conclusion of surrogacy, firstly you’ll need to decide which daddy’s sperm do you use? Chances are that one of you has the perfect eyes and an uncle who’s an alcoholic but the other has gorgeous hair and a family history of narcolepsy. I believe there is a procedure in which the two men mix sperm and let the faster swimmer win, but eventually, a couple has to realize which daddy the babe most resembles. Right? Perhaps you pull a Juliette Moore & Annette Bening and have two children, each the other’s biological, just to make it fair – though that seems like a bad reason to have two children if the original plan was only one. Once the sperm is decided upon, choosing an egg comes with it’s own emotional game of genetic guessing. Will your Baby Mama be a bosom buddy or a Jane Doe? And, of course, one must also find a surrogate and manage that delicate relationship.
Two mommies have other queries and choices to make, but there you have it, the Duo Daddy Dilemma.
Whichever choice you choose, surrogate or adoption, the real meat and potatoes of child rearing comes next. Somehow, while maintaining a modicum of sanity and financial stability all parents are expected to provide a nurturing upbringing with an emotional foundation that will prepare the young individual for the long haul of life. It’s such a magnificent responsibility that it seems appropriate that all couples consider and prepare in as much depth that is required of gay parents. While some people manage the tall order of parenting with flying colors, it is not new to suggest that many do not measure up to the demanding expectation.
Does the Duo Daddy Dilemma offer a conclusion? Oh, not really. Eventually, either decision to adopt or to find a surrogate is easily justified by logic’s standpoint and then shadowed by the enormity of actually raising and unconditionally loving a child. Make decisions that feel right for you and your growing family. Always remember to listen to others but at the end of the day free advice is worth what you paid for it. Most of all, I consider myself fortunate to be weighing these options at all. I eagerly await the great honor of being a daddy
Piloting the Los Angeles Gay Bar Scene – Silver Lake vs. West Hollywood
This article was originally published in gaytravel.com on May 5. Check it out here.
Having lived here for almost five years, I can confidently tell you that gay men in Los Angeles are a curious bunch. To be fair, Angelenos are a peculiar bouquet en masse and while everything you’ve heard about us is completely true, there is the occasional well-kept secret. Geographically speaking, the city is wedged between the desert and the ocean and is really more like a sprawling suburb than a bustling metropolis. The ubiquitous queers are spread out with rainbow flags flying in every quadrant. In fact, there’s so much gay in Los Angeles that for a newbie, navigating the scenes can prove a bit daunting. Where to go? What to do? And, heaven, what to wear?
While visiting our fair shores you’ll certainly enjoy sporting speedos with the boys at Will Rogers Beach or billiards with guys at The Rooster Fish in Venice. Perhaps two-stepping with the gents at Oil Can Harry’s in Studio City? There are, however, two dominant gay scenes on either side of town you’d be remiss to miss: West Hollywood and her easterly sister, Silver Lake.
West Hollywood and Silver Lake are two houses, both alike in dignity. Dissimilar as they are parallel, they each boast their own diverse gay nightclub scene often sneering at the others antics, actions, and tricks. Either way, the menu is quite attractive and interesting: West Hollywood boasts cliquey muscle boys, shaved chests, and coiffed tresses in a vodka soda sauce garnished with a touch of disdain. In easterly Silver Lake the suits-by-day daddies mix with the hipster queers in a manly aromatic foam-party dance-off breaded with bearded armpit romance. There is very little in between. Among the natives, there are the occasional Romeos who manage to cross the line and play both scenes, but for generalization’s sake, you’re a Shark or you’re a Jet. You walk and talk and dance with the lionesses of your pride.
I’m cynical by nature, but it’s all quite fun if you’re drunk enough. I also firmly believe that there is more to being gay than bar stools and Long Island Iced Tea, but I can’t seem to remember what that is at the moment.
The Homosexual Agenda
This article was originally published here on PolicyMic.com on May 26, 2011
Social conservatives speak with terror about ahomosexual agenda. As a practicing homosexual, I can confidently tell you there is much to fear. On a political spectrum, no greater agenda was set forth than the one during the National Equality March in October 2009. A quarter of a million people gathered on the steps of Congress chanting, “Equal protection under the law in all matters governed by civil law in all 50 states.” On a social and cultural spectrum, the agenda promotes acceptance and normalization of non-heterosexual relationships. For some people, this is pretty scary stuff.
Whether you agree with the agenda or not, history is being made. Social organizing via the internet is in young people's hands, and it is growing fast. Patterns in popular culture and a new generation’s involvement are prime examples of how gay normalization is becoming a reality in our society.
Your television became a queer secret agent when, in 1998, it started spewing Will & Grace into your conservative American living room. Even with all its gay stereotypes and clichés, the show was digestible and amusing. Today, the trend is exploding. Everything including Lady Gaga, Glee,Brokeback Mountain, Six Feet Under, Logo, Ellen, Elton John, Milk, the Simpsons and thousands of others are making a younger generation more equipped to organically grow into their sexual and gender identities. Popular music is telling kids that they are “…on the right track, baby, you were born this way…” and “…baby you’re a firework…” and “…raise your glass if you are wrong in every right way…” and “…words can’t bring you down.” Even popular video games, like Fable andMass Effect, are now giving options for same-sex romance in their story lines.
In the past year, the media exploded with coverage on the tragic stories of queer youth suicides and bullying. To be clear, however, there was not a rash of gay suicides; there was a rash of media finally doing something about it. Even President Obama made a video for the It Gets Better Project, wherein he tells gay youth “you are not alone … your differences are a source of pride, a source of strength.”
And the kids are listening.
Constance McMillen received international attention when her small-town Mississippi high schoolbanned her from bringing her girlfriend to prom. In Arkansas, 10-year-old Will Phillips receivedmedia recognition when, in school, he refused to say the pledge of allegiance to a country that discriminates against gays. There are thousands upon thousands of more untold stories like these.
Young people are defining their sexual identity as one above labels. They are developing feelings that are above the feeble-minded stereotype that we are required to be a certain word for people to understand and accept us; they know they're not alone either, because everything tells them so. They also know they must be brave in their struggle against a conservative society because everything they read, watch, and experience tells them so.
And the outcome is pretty close to gay global domination. The new generation will use popular culture and the internet to deliver this big, terrifying homosexual agenda to every lonely and troubled man, woman, and child still living alone in their closet. They’ll tell you to love yourself unconditionally, welcoming you and asking you to join them. As Harvey Milk once said, “Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight.”
Jim Carrey Is Too Gay for America
It's true. He just might be. Also today: A Kurt Cobain biopic sounds seriously dreadful, HBO casts two good actresses in two good roles, a teen adventure begins, and some important news about Big Momma's House 3.Diane Lane, she of the abundant talent and terribly mismanaged career, has signed on to star in HBO's upcoming movie about the filming of the groundbreaking 1973 PBS documentary American Family, essentially the country's first reality show. Well managed! The movie is called Cinema Verite, which is sort of an annoying title, but other than that the project sounds really interesting. More like this, Diane. Less like Untraceable. [THR]
Here's a weird movie. Katie Cassidy, star of the hideous Melrose Place remake and the upcoming sure-to-be-hideous Nightmare On Elm Street remake, will be costarring in Monte Carlo, a teen adventure movie. Not like some older person going on an adventure involving teens. But teens going on an adventure themselves. Selena Gomez is one of those teens. She's the main teen, in fact. Pretend teen Corey Monteith (he's 26) from Glee is along for the ride, as are Leighton Meester and Andie MacDowell. Basically it'll be the brightest, loudest thing ever until Andie MacDowell comes along and says "Hiiiii," in that deadpan Southern robot drone of hers and all the energy will be sucked out of the room forever, teaching teens an important lesson about Andie MacDowell and her inexplicable acting career. [Variety]
"Four Actors Join Big Momma's House" is maybe the most depressing headline written in the trades these days. But four actors have, indeed, joined Big Momma's House 3. Obviously Martin Lawrence is doing it. But now so are Portia Doubleday (the love interest from Michael Cera as Michael Cera in Youth In Revolt), Faizon Love (from very many things, most recently the Oscar-nominated Couples Retreat), Brandon T. Jackson (the poor actor saddled with CGI goat legs in Terrence Malick's Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief), and Michelle Ang (a Malaysian actress from Aussie soap Neighbours). So yay for everyone! Spend the paychecks on something fun. It's basically found money. [THR]
Sigh. I Love You, Phillip Morris, that bizarro gay comedy starring Jim Carrey and Ewan MacGregor, has now had its release delayed indefinitely. The buzzed about and highly praised movie has been pushed back several times, and now it's just... in limbo. Is it too gay? It might be. Or it might be too weird. Or it might be too something else that we're not even thinking about. Whatever the reason, it's disappointing. [EW]
The wonderful but infrequently employed Mare Winnigham has landed a big role in Mildred Pierce, the upcoming HBO miniseries starring Kate Winslet and directed by Todd Haynes. She'll play a friend of Winslet's in Great Depression-era Los Angeles. So good for her! [THR]
This is probably complete bunk, but here goes. Apparently sparklevamp Robert Pattinson is the number one choice to play Kurt Cobain in an upcoming biopic. Really guys? Apparently Courtney Love, heavily involved with the production, really wants Scarlett Johansson to play her. Blergh. [PopEater]
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Thailand is a highly tolerant country where sexual preference is regarded as a personal choice when it comes to homosexuality. Gays, lesbians and transsexuals are all accepted as part of the Thai way, inspired by the teachings of Buddhism. Gay harassment is virtually non-existent. Thai people - both gay and straight - are also known for their sweet, friendly and polite natures. All of this have contributed to making Thailand a prime gay tourist destination, with Bangkok often being dubbed as the gay capital of Asia.
Bangkok's nightlife wouldn't be complete if we failed to mention go-go bars. While straight go-go bars are one of the Thailand's nightlife phenomenas, the not-so-straight ones are no less sensational and eye-opening. There are quite a few go-go bars in the fluorescent-lit street of Soi Pratuchai (informally known as Soi Twilight) on Surawong Road. Try to avoid aggressive street touts vying for customers. Walking along the soi, you'll find many bars featuring various types of shows, from exotic dance, muscle-flexing, ladyboy comedy, sexy boys in very little clothing, and all kinds of other spectacles that go beyond anyone's wildest fantasies. A gay guide to Bangkok at night
Strolling by the fussy streets of Silom in downtown Krung Thep at nighttime will announce a metropolis that is alive with lights & laughter. The restricted sidewalks are filled with stalls, turning the whole region into a hustling nighttime grocery store wherever everything, it seems, is for sales event. 2 tourists with German accents haggle over watches & a marketer places a Thai silk tie in a purse closing a sales event. Meanwhile, on Silom soi 4, or Gay road, else actions are in play, with the gay wonderland offering everything anyone homosexual ever so dared ambition of. There are more folks on this road than anywhere other close & they approach in all forms and sizes. Tourists from around the world flock here, reveling in the comfy aura & originate character of this pocket of the metropolis.
photo credit: elotroxxx
Though Phuket and Pattaya have fine homosexual scenes – whenever you’re homosexual and in Thailand, Krung Thep is the put to watch & be seen. the capital of Thailand hosts Pride Week once a year, but the spirit of Pride is alive each nighttime on Silom soi 4. Most of the bars and pubs & clubs in the region have balconies & patios & folks spill out into the streets, seeing passers-by & taking it all in. The Balcony has specials during pleased hour & maybe the biggest count of seats external on the road. It’s a awesome put from which to control out the faculty at the tavern contrary, who coiffe in dissimilar coordinated garments each nighttime and gracefully entice passing folks into their midst. For those too timid to make face to face meet, the Telephone Tavern and Eatery provides customers with a telephone at each desk to facilitate meetings.
Several establishments on and around soi 4 host cabaret-style exhibits. The ragged Freeman Dancing Field is still one of the most favorite locales for exhibits. The Field newly reopened under a fresh designate, the G.O.D club, but still has the same awesome flair. Their nighttime exhibits are legendary – the dressed up & coordination are superior and the spin queens are many of the most spectacular on the globe. But the designate very tells it all; G.O.D. stands for ‘guys on display’. “G.O.D. club appears awesome, the music is wonderful & it’s inaugurate till at least 04:00. It blows else clubs wholly away”, told British holidaymaker Jack Nambert, who cares about the saunas on soi 4 & the discos on soi two, but who can’t get adequate of the rush exhibits at G.O.D. Drag queens in Thailand are, when a whole, nearly unparalleled. Thai society is really favorable to a small gender bowing here and there. The Thai word kathoey is used to refer to someone who is born a male but who chooses to coiffe and behave delight in a feminine. Often interpreted to mean ‘lady boy’ in English, kathoey in Thailand are extremely obvious and take up positions consistently through society in TV dramas, when aerobics instructors, store clerks and then on. It takes a lot to get to the notch of the amusement circle when a woman guy, then what gets on stage is normally brilliant. DJ Base is a club on Silom soi two with an superior nighttime exhibit. Entrance is cheap and the imprint cost includes 2 beverages.
The exhibit is wonderful, the beverages are strong & at the finish of the nighttime, the dancing flooring is filled almost to immobility with circlehosts of half-naked, picturesque men. Silom soi 4 may be a small overwhelming. Whilst it is a fine put to contact else like-minded tourists and even hook up with a travelling fellow for the remain of your vacation in Thailand, it isn’t the finest put to get a factual glance of homosexual life for Thai men. Ramkhamhaeng street has many bars and pubs that make up a petite homosexual strip reach the crossing with Lamsalee street. ICK, Finalle, SeaTrue and Crazy all assist fairly priced beverages to a mostly Thai clientele & play awesome music that gets folks dance. At weekends, Krung Thep hosts a immense grocery store in the northerly finish of the metropolis recognized when Chatuchak. During the daytime, it’s a awesome put to store & the close parks are ideal for picnicking & folks seeing. When the sunshine goes down nevertheless, folks head to a count of petite, trendy bars and pubs in the neighbourhood, many of which are fine puts for mates to contact mates. ICY on Kamphaengphet street was voted one of the beneficial homosexual bars and pubs in the capital of Thailand and is the put to go to hook up with a trendy young Thai mates. “A mate took me to ICY for the 1st time.
photo credit: new-ars
I was very nervous since I generally hang out with else farangs on soi 4. The music was amazingly suited & there wasn’t different noncitizen in the put. Things were very Thai style”, enthused Adam Miller, an American student reading in Krung Thep. “I sense then practically less repressed here than I do benefit home. I bound by the road in Krung Thep (the capital of Thailand) hand in hand with my man and nobody bats an eyeball. I esteem it”. Things are slightly more hard for a lady attempting to contact different lady, even in Krung Thep (the capital of Thailand). Although the boys are out on the road making noise & being extremely obvious, it may be difficult for the uninitiated to figure out wherever the lesbian aspect is going on. As one of the bouncers at Balls, a sports tavern on Silom soi 4 was enquired, ‘Where are the lesbians?’ he responded swiftly, “I ponder they go to nap at 18:00”. Fortunately, not all the lesbians in the capital of Thailand go to bed then earlier. But the fact is, delight in some lesbian cultural groupings in the West, the cultural aspect in Thailand tends to be discreet & centered around secluded gatherings. Whilst some women in the West have attempted in past years to outstrip themselves from the clean distinctions of butch & femme, lesbian life in Thailand is still really practically disconnected by those lines. Lesbians in Thailand typically call themselves either a tom (as is tomboy) or a dee (as in lady).
photo credit: elotroxxx
Toms are by distant the most obvious grouping & commonly convey the most intercourse attract. Because unique Thai society is living with of homosexuality, tom and dee twosomes may go out conjointly everyplace, meaning there are really couple of establishments supplying entirely to lesbians. There are a couple of puts by Sukhumvit street that are beneficial including the upmarket cabaret eatery Mambo and Thumb Up (both on Soi 32), which is a awesome put to get a groove on a Friday nighttime. Phra Athit street has many mixed establishments that appeal a honorable lesbian herd, especially at weekends. Vega (Sukhumvit soi 39) is a eatery owned by a tom-dee couple, then you are guaranteed to contact at least 2 lesbians whenever you dine here. The put is occasionally vacuous and occasionally enitre to the brim, but whether or not the lesbians are in space, top meal & awesome music are all of the time on bid. Still, appearing for lesbians in Krung Thep may be highly frustrating. “I lived in Thailand for 6 months & each weekend I would go appearing for someone other, anyone other, who was homosexual. I just might not contact any women”, complained Melissa O’Mara, a teacher from Australia. “Finally”, she told, “I discovered the internet”.
Assembling up on the world wide web is one of the finest styles to get inside the cultural life of lesbians in Krung Thep. There are many organisations that may aid including the Anjaree Grouping. Though focused on Thai speakers, they occasionally allot cultural events which welcome travelers. Websites such when Utopia Asia, Pink Ink and the Pink Sofa are superior resources for assembling & becoming in touch with localized lesbians, who are often amused to dish out the scoop on what’s happening in Krung Thep. Just when the general Thai common are welcoming & living with of homosexuality in their civilization and from foreign, most homosexual locales in Krung Thep are evenly welcoming of non-homosexuals in their midst. Sitting on the patio seats at bars and pubs on soi 4 are families with their teenage kids, pairs of snuggling homosexual twosomes & groupings of straight misses gearing up for a nighttime of dance. That’s the awesome thing about Krung Thep (the capital of Thailand) – it’s in the Country of Smiles. No subject wherever you go and who you are going with (or desire to get with), someone’s certain to be smiling at you.
photo credit: elotroxxxThough Phuket and Pattaya have fine homosexual scenes – whenever you’re homosexual and in Thailand, Krung Thep is the put to watch & be seen. the capital of Thailand hosts Pride Week once a year, but the spirit of Pride is alive each nighttime on Silom soi 4. Most of the bars and pubs & clubs in the region have balconies & patios & folks spill out into the streets, seeing passers-by & taking it all in. The Balcony has specials during pleased hour & maybe the biggest count of seats external on the road. It’s a awesome put from which to control out the faculty at the tavern contrary, who coiffe in dissimilar coordinated garments each nighttime and gracefully entice passing folks into their midst. For those too timid to make face to face meet, the Telephone Tavern and Eatery provides customers with a telephone at each desk to facilitate meetings.
Several establishments on and around soi 4 host cabaret-style exhibits. The ragged Freeman Dancing Field is still one of the most favorite locales for exhibits. The Field newly reopened under a fresh designate, the G.O.D club, but still has the same awesome flair. Their nighttime exhibits are legendary – the dressed up & coordination are superior and the spin queens are many of the most spectacular on the globe. But the designate very tells it all; G.O.D. stands for ‘guys on display’. “G.O.D. club appears awesome, the music is wonderful & it’s inaugurate till at least 04:00. It blows else clubs wholly away”, told British holidaymaker Jack Nambert, who cares about the saunas on soi 4 & the discos on soi two, but who can’t get adequate of the rush exhibits at G.O.D. Drag queens in Thailand are, when a whole, nearly unparalleled. Thai society is really favorable to a small gender bowing here and there. The Thai word kathoey is used to refer to someone who is born a male but who chooses to coiffe and behave delight in a feminine. Often interpreted to mean ‘lady boy’ in English, kathoey in Thailand are extremely obvious and take up positions consistently through society in TV dramas, when aerobics instructors, store clerks and then on. It takes a lot to get to the notch of the amusement circle when a woman guy, then what gets on stage is normally brilliant. DJ Base is a club on Silom soi two with an superior nighttime exhibit. Entrance is cheap and the imprint cost includes 2 beverages.
The exhibit is wonderful, the beverages are strong & at the finish of the nighttime, the dancing flooring is filled almost to immobility with circlehosts of half-naked, picturesque men. Silom soi 4 may be a small overwhelming. Whilst it is a fine put to contact else like-minded tourists and even hook up with a travelling fellow for the remain of your vacation in Thailand, it isn’t the finest put to get a factual glance of homosexual life for Thai men. Ramkhamhaeng street has many bars and pubs that make up a petite homosexual strip reach the crossing with Lamsalee street. ICK, Finalle, SeaTrue and Crazy all assist fairly priced beverages to a mostly Thai clientele & play awesome music that gets folks dance. At weekends, Krung Thep hosts a immense grocery store in the northerly finish of the metropolis recognized when Chatuchak. During the daytime, it’s a awesome put to store & the close parks are ideal for picnicking & folks seeing. When the sunshine goes down nevertheless, folks head to a count of petite, trendy bars and pubs in the neighbourhood, many of which are fine puts for mates to contact mates. ICY on Kamphaengphet street was voted one of the beneficial homosexual bars and pubs in the capital of Thailand and is the put to go to hook up with a trendy young Thai mates. “A mate took me to ICY for the 1st time.
photo credit: new-arsI was very nervous since I generally hang out with else farangs on soi 4. The music was amazingly suited & there wasn’t different noncitizen in the put. Things were very Thai style”, enthused Adam Miller, an American student reading in Krung Thep. “I sense then practically less repressed here than I do benefit home. I bound by the road in Krung Thep (the capital of Thailand) hand in hand with my man and nobody bats an eyeball. I esteem it”. Things are slightly more hard for a lady attempting to contact different lady, even in Krung Thep (the capital of Thailand). Although the boys are out on the road making noise & being extremely obvious, it may be difficult for the uninitiated to figure out wherever the lesbian aspect is going on. As one of the bouncers at Balls, a sports tavern on Silom soi 4 was enquired, ‘Where are the lesbians?’ he responded swiftly, “I ponder they go to nap at 18:00”. Fortunately, not all the lesbians in the capital of Thailand go to bed then earlier. But the fact is, delight in some lesbian cultural groupings in the West, the cultural aspect in Thailand tends to be discreet & centered around secluded gatherings. Whilst some women in the West have attempted in past years to outstrip themselves from the clean distinctions of butch & femme, lesbian life in Thailand is still really practically disconnected by those lines. Lesbians in Thailand typically call themselves either a tom (as is tomboy) or a dee (as in lady).
photo credit: elotroxxxToms are by distant the most obvious grouping & commonly convey the most intercourse attract. Because unique Thai society is living with of homosexuality, tom and dee twosomes may go out conjointly everyplace, meaning there are really couple of establishments supplying entirely to lesbians. There are a couple of puts by Sukhumvit street that are beneficial including the upmarket cabaret eatery Mambo and Thumb Up (both on Soi 32), which is a awesome put to get a groove on a Friday nighttime. Phra Athit street has many mixed establishments that appeal a honorable lesbian herd, especially at weekends. Vega (Sukhumvit soi 39) is a eatery owned by a tom-dee couple, then you are guaranteed to contact at least 2 lesbians whenever you dine here. The put is occasionally vacuous and occasionally enitre to the brim, but whether or not the lesbians are in space, top meal & awesome music are all of the time on bid. Still, appearing for lesbians in Krung Thep may be highly frustrating. “I lived in Thailand for 6 months & each weekend I would go appearing for someone other, anyone other, who was homosexual. I just might not contact any women”, complained Melissa O’Mara, a teacher from Australia. “Finally”, she told, “I discovered the internet”.
Assembling up on the world wide web is one of the finest styles to get inside the cultural life of lesbians in Krung Thep. There are many organisations that may aid including the Anjaree Grouping. Though focused on Thai speakers, they occasionally allot cultural events which welcome travelers. Websites such when Utopia Asia, Pink Ink and the Pink Sofa are superior resources for assembling & becoming in touch with localized lesbians, who are often amused to dish out the scoop on what’s happening in Krung Thep. Just when the general Thai common are welcoming & living with of homosexuality in their civilization and from foreign, most homosexual locales in Krung Thep are evenly welcoming of non-homosexuals in their midst. Sitting on the patio seats at bars and pubs on soi 4 are families with their teenage kids, pairs of snuggling homosexual twosomes & groupings of straight misses gearing up for a nighttime of dance. That’s the awesome thing about Krung Thep (the capital of Thailand) – it’s in the Country of Smiles. No subject wherever you go and who you are going with (or desire to get with), someone’s certain to be smiling at you.
Bathetic In Bangkok
Dirty talk but no sex in a strangely effective play without a plot Tough time, nice time The Pit, London EC2
Until I saw this strangely effective piece from the two-man theatre troupe Ridiculusmus, I imagined I had a rough idea of what gay men do in Bangkok saunas. Tough time, nice time suggests I had it all wrong. What really happens is that they pair off and sit for 70 minutes at opposite ends of a large bath, talking about the films they have seen. Although Martin and Stefan talk dirty - very, very dirty - their relationship is as sexual as Eric and Ernie's was on their double bed.
The script hints that the pair were originally intended to be a bit more mobile. They even dance at one point. But the striking thing about this production (just closed) is the large white bath they share on the all-black stage. Martin and Stefan's torsos poke out luminously and a bit bathetically (pun not originally intended). They speak incessantly of arseholes, but are as disembodied as characters in a Beckett play.
Against this absurdism, the dialogue is naturalistic, the speeches full of errors, misunderstandings, false starts and corrections. David Woods - playing the bald, funny, superior younger man, Stefan - is particularly impressive. You hear people talk as irritatingly as he does, but never on stage. Martin (played by Jon Haynes) is sterner, almost humourless, his sense of superiority more worked at. Both are German and they should be speaking German. Instead, they speak German-accented English. It is ever so slightly 'Allo 'Allo!.
If Pirandello invented six characters in search of an author, Ridiculusmus has come up with two in search of a story. Martin, a lawyer who sells drugs on the side, thinks there is a book in him but he is not sure which book - the one about his childhood, the one about his sex life, or the one about the boyfriend who slaughtered himself on his carpet. Nor is he sure if Stefan, a hack publisher, is the one to write it down. In any case, Stefan refuses to be impressed by his bathmate's tales of horror and in the end decides to write another story altogether - the one about a Ugandan he met who'd had his ears cut off for refusing to kill his parents: "Better structure. Simpler. Fits the formula."
Both men have spent too much time at the cinema analysing the narrative structure of middlebrow movies such as Munich, Brokeback Mountain and Walk the Line. In particular, they have it in for The Constant Gardener, with its "tense music" that makes you think something bad is going to happen. In the film, something eventually does happen. In Tough time, nice time, it pointedly, as in Beckett, does not. When Stefan finally reads from his notebook, he has composed a piece of tawdry pornography. The suggestion is that a promiscuous gay man's life is pretty much like a porn movie: you hang around for the sex, not the plot.
Like water from a bath, the facts of the two men's lives leak out to us, the eavesdropping audience. We only gradually learn of Martin's tragic upbringing, or that Stefan is married. As we work away at the puzzle of who they are, a greater problem emerges: we need to figure out what the play is about.
It certainly skirmishes in the arena of death of affect. It recalls Theodore Zeldin's remarks, in his book An Intimate History of Humanity, about a world in which everyone has the right to speak yet no one is obliged to listen. But is this disassociation, this loneliness, particularly acute in the world of gay promiscuity? The play counters Edmund White's claim in his memoirs that bathhouse encounters open you up to the lives of others. Or is its cause the bombardment of narratives from the media? Or is it a German thing? The two men speak lightly, irreverently of the Holocaust, fondly recalling an American TV film of the same name. Perhaps Germany's broken, unmentionable history robs German citizens of faith in narrative.
A play about a search for a story which then fails to provide one is a high-risk enterprise. When that play is not merely static, but sedentary, the chance that it will bore us is higher still. Tough time, nice time is never boring, however. Disgusting, yes; boring, no. If a few heads fell on chests the night I went, that was because the Pit was itself as hot as a sauna.
The script hints that the pair were originally intended to be a bit more mobile. They even dance at one point. But the striking thing about this production (just closed) is the large white bath they share on the all-black stage. Martin and Stefan's torsos poke out luminously and a bit bathetically (pun not originally intended). They speak incessantly of arseholes, but are as disembodied as characters in a Beckett play.
Against this absurdism, the dialogue is naturalistic, the speeches full of errors, misunderstandings, false starts and corrections. David Woods - playing the bald, funny, superior younger man, Stefan - is particularly impressive. You hear people talk as irritatingly as he does, but never on stage. Martin (played by Jon Haynes) is sterner, almost humourless, his sense of superiority more worked at. Both are German and they should be speaking German. Instead, they speak German-accented English. It is ever so slightly 'Allo 'Allo!.
If Pirandello invented six characters in search of an author, Ridiculusmus has come up with two in search of a story. Martin, a lawyer who sells drugs on the side, thinks there is a book in him but he is not sure which book - the one about his childhood, the one about his sex life, or the one about the boyfriend who slaughtered himself on his carpet. Nor is he sure if Stefan, a hack publisher, is the one to write it down. In any case, Stefan refuses to be impressed by his bathmate's tales of horror and in the end decides to write another story altogether - the one about a Ugandan he met who'd had his ears cut off for refusing to kill his parents: "Better structure. Simpler. Fits the formula."
Both men have spent too much time at the cinema analysing the narrative structure of middlebrow movies such as Munich, Brokeback Mountain and Walk the Line. In particular, they have it in for The Constant Gardener, with its "tense music" that makes you think something bad is going to happen. In the film, something eventually does happen. In Tough time, nice time, it pointedly, as in Beckett, does not. When Stefan finally reads from his notebook, he has composed a piece of tawdry pornography. The suggestion is that a promiscuous gay man's life is pretty much like a porn movie: you hang around for the sex, not the plot.
Like water from a bath, the facts of the two men's lives leak out to us, the eavesdropping audience. We only gradually learn of Martin's tragic upbringing, or that Stefan is married. As we work away at the puzzle of who they are, a greater problem emerges: we need to figure out what the play is about.
It certainly skirmishes in the arena of death of affect. It recalls Theodore Zeldin's remarks, in his book An Intimate History of Humanity, about a world in which everyone has the right to speak yet no one is obliged to listen. But is this disassociation, this loneliness, particularly acute in the world of gay promiscuity? The play counters Edmund White's claim in his memoirs that bathhouse encounters open you up to the lives of others. Or is its cause the bombardment of narratives from the media? Or is it a German thing? The two men speak lightly, irreverently of the Holocaust, fondly recalling an American TV film of the same name. Perhaps Germany's broken, unmentionable history robs German citizens of faith in narrative.
A play about a search for a story which then fails to provide one is a high-risk enterprise. When that play is not merely static, but sedentary, the chance that it will bore us is higher still. Tough time, nice time is never boring, however. Disgusting, yes; boring, no. If a few heads fell on chests the night I went, that was because the Pit was itself as hot as a sauna.
Bangkok Love Story Region 1 DVD available for pre-order
Bangkok Love Story, Poj Arnon's award-winning gay romantic crime thriller, is going to be out on English-subtitled Region 1 DVD on August 26.It has been spotted at HK Flix and at Amazon.
TLA Releasing picked it up for distribution in a deal announced last year.
According to TLA Releasing's page about the film, Bangkok Love Story is slated for screenings at the 14th Philadelpha International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival in July, the Vancouver Gay and Lesbian Film Festival in August and limited-run commercial screenings in New York, West Hollywood and Fort Lauderdale, also in August.
The story is about an assassin hired to take out a young policeman, but the gunman has a change of heart at the last minute and the two join up to shoot their way out of a Buddha factory and then head to the gunman's rooftop hideaway. The gunman is wounded and the policeman lounges around in his boxers and gives the gunman sponge baths. Well, it starts raining and one thing leads to another.
The story was praised for its sensitive, sympathetic portrayal of a relationship between two straight-acting gay men, as opposed to the usual depiction of gays in commercial films as flaming, effeminate, exaggerated freaks. A subplot about the gunman's HIV-positive brother and childhood sexual abuse added weight to drama.
Bangkok Love Story (Thai title: เพื่อน...กูรักมึงว่ะ or Pêuan ... Goo Rák Meung Wâ, literally "Friend ... I love you") has had a run of film festivals already, including the Hong Kong Lesbian and Gay Film Festival, the Brussels Independent International Film Festival (where it won the top prize, the Grand Award in all Categories) and the London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival.
Writer-director Poj Arnon won the Subhanahongsa Award for Best Script. It also won Best Cinematography for Tiwa Moeithaisong, who also edited the film -- a well deserved kudos, because the imagery of Bangkok was simply stunning. And it won for Best Sound.
Looks like TLA is giving it good treatment in the run-up to the DVD release in North America.
Now, if only The Love of Siam would get an English-friendly DVD release -- the Director's Cut, please -- I think maybe there would be some very happy people indeed.
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